I am a lazy boy I am. Even in my private journal there's been a gap, a long silence. My job now is just studying and as usual I'm overreacting. Though in my age I know perfectly the thing about balance and so.
So many plans... my short-stories are stuck but I'm gradually returning and want, hysterically want to publish this year. Talking about shit, yesterday I was in a kind of very informal speech of a non-published writer, whose influences are Amyr Klink, Paulo Coelho, and Guns 'n Roses. She showed her stuff, notebooks, diaries, books, and talked about her process in such a low-prof way that I almost cried. Zero vanity and lots of guts to show her ass that way. Well, her name is Fernanda and she writes here.
One more time I think of balancing. I'm not showing my hairy ass the way she did, but I need at least to shave it and show it and see what happens.
Today I told my whole adult life story to a brand new friend in just 10 minutes. Then I realized that I really need to do something about it, I mean, think more carefully about biography stuff. Of course, not in a showing-off, artificial sense, but in one having in mind the time factor, joy (with people) in the meantime, and death. And according to Marx, this is a contradiction since men do their own history, but don't know they do.
